Unbelievable!

Yesterday was an epic day. I took past life's mother to the airport and put her on a non-stop flight to "Balt-ti-more". She moved from there to Gig Harbor about 2 1/2 years ago (following the death of her husband) and has been mad she came since the day she got here. (Actually I think she's been mad since birth) I wish that I could say that she is just a sweet, slightly demented little old lady but I can't. She's the complete other end of the spectrum (except that she is little). So I took the day off, got up while everyone in my house was still sleeping, put on my best happy face and off we went. She has very limited mobility and so going through security with the wheelchair, etc was a bit more time consuming. Of course she had to be padded down and searched because her cane set off the metal detector. As I'm waiting for her the TSA boy (I swear he couldn't have been more than 14) asked if he could send her purse through x-ray a 2nd time. "Do you have scissors in this purse he asks?" When I asked her and her response was "yes" I'm thinking that she had her little cuticle scissors (the ones she's always cutting on her fingers with) in there. So the "boy" starts very carefully feeling around in her purse. (Thank goodness the guy had gloves on because the woman has more garbage in her purse than my recycling bin does. It is full of papers and coupons and a half a dozen pencil stubs that are 20 years old. She writes everything down on the backs of old envelopes, bills, etc. ) Anyway after a brief search he pulls out these!

Holy Sh*t! I stood there for a minute with my mouth hanging open and then I started laughing. "Ma, what are these doing in your purse? You can't take these things on the airplane!" Which made her even madder than having to remove her shoes. Her mouth then produced a long string of profanities and yelling about the GD airlines and how the hell was she supposed to open her suitcase when she got to Balt-ti-more?! I'm thinking, what the hell... are you cutting your clothes out of your suitcase?! The poor TSA guy was trying very hard to be nice and told her that she could take her scissors but she'd have to put them in her bag and then check the bag. Otherwise she'd have to leave the scissors here. This information produced another string of cursing (actually yelling and cursing are fairly normal occurrences in the course of any conversation with her) and so I quickly decided that the scissors were staying - there was no way I was going all the way back out to the ticket counter to check her bag! On our way to the gate she was cursing and muttering and then yelled out "GD country, they ought to drop a bomb on the whole damn place!" That's it, I thought. Next thing we'll have homeland security crawling all over us! So in my quiet but-you-are-trying-my-patience-mother-to-a-2-year-old voice I told her she had to either shut up or I was going to leave her right in the middle of the terminal and she'd have to figure out how to get to the plane by herself! I prayed all the way home that the passengers in the seats next to her would be deaf, blind and mute - at least for the duration of the flight. Either that or her flight would give complimentary valium with her peanuts!

On to other unbelievable things... the "sedum surprise" continues. However, now I think its doing its "Elvis has left the building (pot)" impersonation. It's like the plant is saying, "Man, it is just too crowded in here with ya'll. All this pushing and fightin' for root space, I'm outta here!"

And finally, apparently there is a new species of "frog" that has decided to make my yard its new habitat....

Yea, I know totally gross but Neighbor and I had quite a laugh about it... actually it was more like ROTGLOAO... what can I say except that this is just one more piece of evidence showing the genetic differences between males and females and certainly the genetic mutations of teenage boys!